This Week is Over!

So let's celebrate with a GIF of the Day!

Go, Diwali! It's ya Birthday!

It's Monday and I'm feeling pretty crappy, bitches. But you know what made me smile? This remix of the President arm dancing up a storm at a Diwali celebration.

Go Barry, it'sya birthday!






Hat tip High Definite, via Sullivan

Bottoms Up

Well, fuck you very much, America. You let me down, just like I knew you would.

C'mon liberal elite friends of mine. Let me take you out for a nice, artsy fartsy bottle of:



Cheers, bitches.

Miike Snow

I love this song.





I can't, however, get it out of my head. I think I'll take a cue from St. Augustine of Hippo, who once prayed "Lord, give me chastity and continence, but not yet."

Lord, get this song out of my brain, but don't do it quite yet.

I really hate your ass right now, woman!

Cee-Lo got to sing the full version of Fuck You on the BBC, because the British understand that swearing on the air doesn't actually make your ears melt off. I felt it needed to be included because Cee is featuring a fly pink zoot suit with matching pink diamond earrings that totally match our blog background.

Enjoy it, unless your more XBox than Atari.



 

via The Awl

Of Montreal...and other things

So I feel that this song is pretty appropriate for this blog:

And here is my outfit today! Decided to post it on ye old blog to, you know, show what I actually wear.

Now, as Doogs said to me when she first saw this "Where are your shoes?!?" Well, I snapped this photo quickly in my house and usually I don't wear shoes at home. I do guarantee that I am wearing shoes at work. I promise.

I initially tried on the outfit without a belt and didn't like how the top of the skirt just seemed to be there and that I could see the side zipper. So there's that. I also have on a grey cardigan in my office right now because I am FREEZING.

Thoughts on the outfit? Are there people out there that read this besides the people who author the blog?

GIF of the Day

I was too lazy to find it, so I'm waiting until it popped into my RSS feed!

For something less casual...

Please note that I did not include a purse with this outfit. There are 2 reasons for this:

1) I am le tired.

2) People who wear this will either be accessorized with an assistant, a hot man or both, and thus will not need to carry a purse.

Halston dress. McQueen shoes with skulls. Amrita Singh big ass ring and earrings.

Everything costs a lot of money, but of all the things featured here I want the McQueen shoes the most. Mainly because they would cause me to be 6'3" when I go out to parties.

Pegging* with Brogues

So, yeah, about those posts...whoops!

Anywho, recently I have been trying to figure out brogues, and how they work into a wardrobe. If you aren't in the know, brogues are the dudely dress type shoes showing up this fall for us womenz to wear. And I really want to wear them! The problem seems to be with what? So below is my attempt to square the circle, so to speak, into a fall weekend look.

So the only way I can see wearing them is if you peg your jeans or are wearing something with a shorter leg. They could work with a skirt or dress too, but I feel it would need to maybe have a certain feminine flare to counter-act the dudely-ness of the shoes.

Marc by Marc Jacobs sweater. Love it, love the sailor inspired looks going on right now. Love. The jeans are 7 For All Mankind, but I think you could just wear a straight leg jean from anywhere.

Brogues from Steve Madden. I cannot take credit for this next idea (I read it in In Style magazine) but I really like the idea of lacing them with a ribbon instead of the regular laces. It would make them a little more interesting, no?

Um, robot necklace which I found at Mod Cloth? Yes, please! Along with a Marc by Marc Jacobs bag.

Just tie up your hair and hurry out the door to the coffee shop, girl!

I'll probably see you there at the end up September because I will be hunched over a book studying for school...sigh...

*not that kind of pegging, you sicko. I'm talking about your jeans!

Whiskers

This isn't just a beard, this is a set of WHISKERS. On top of a pelt of some kind. The history of Lebanon - pretty fascinating!

Prince Bashir II"the Great"
Emir of Mt. Lebanon from 1788 until 1840
via Wikipedia

 

 

 

 

Weeeeeeeeeeeee

In getting ready my Fashion Bored post today (two outfits everyone, I'm posting TWO!) I stumbled upon these shoes.

Must.

Have.

I think if I save my pennies these could actually be in reach*. Which, you know, is sort of not the point of me blogging about clothes right now? Right?

*By reach I mean half a month's rent, so it's probably not going to happen. But whatever, the dream is a little more reality based than normal for these.

Yippppeeee!

I'm getting married in exactly four months from today. Four.

That's all.

Happy 90th to the 19th!

This may be a silly blog where silly things are said and done, but we DO vote, no matter how much that scares you!

Ticky Tacky Gum Drops

So I've dropped the ball a bit on Fashion Bored. So sure me!

No wait, don't. I have no monies. Instead, would you settle for this tacky clutch?

I'm predicting rhinestone turtles will beg this fall. . .

New Boyfriend!

Sorry, DoYouLikeDonuts. It's been a real tight 6 years and all, but I met someone through soap-tastic BBC Mini-series North and South over the weekend. And we're M4EO.

Richard Armitage as John Thornton

Hubba. Motherfucking. Hubba, ya'll.

*Swoons and feints dead away.*

Happy Friday!

Especially to the haters, who keep us k-kinda bizay.

Guess That Craft

More crafts for you, lucky reader. I made this in a fit of inspiration last night and then realized that it didn't turn out as great as I thought it would. You probably can't even figure out what this is supposed to be. Can you humor me and make a guess in the comments?

Anyone??

Once you take your guess, check out the inspiration by clicking here.

alex (the hat model) watches the rachel zoe project...

which he actually enjoys...

shut it down.

Craft Corner

This is quickly becoming a poor-quality-photography-taken-from-a-cellphone blog, but I actually finished a knitting project, and had to tell SOMEONE:

FINISHED

As you may have gathered from this, the 6th blog I've been involved in in my lifetime, I'm not a 'finisher'. I start and abandon projects with... well... abandon. So this is a big deal. I happened to make a photocopy of this pattern from a book in someone's office a few years ago, and after I totally destroyed this hideous blanket I was working on about a year ago, I was left with scraps that needed to become something. So I picked up the copy and away I went. I made a first draft, which was so small, it made Alex the Hat Model look like an imam. So I altered the pattern to actually cover one's ears and make the brim a bit smaller et voila:

Cable Guy

This is also my first successful cable that actually looks like it's supposed to - never underestimate the power of counting when knitting. I need a now project. I know have a hat pattern and a stuffed elephant pattern down cold - need some gloves or something?

After a quick Google, I found out that the pattern is in Stich n' Bitch Nation and is called Basic Cable by Christine Quirion..

Fashion Bored: OWNED!

Now, I'm not usually into bragging, but I feel that given my recent obsession over Bloch flats (which is blog is responsible for) I should just say that today I made a rather amazing purchase:

No, not JUST a YSL box. Actual shoes. I now own YSL shoes. In a size 11. Representing the opposite end of the shoe spectrum from tokin asian makes purchasing shoes rather difficult. Especially shoes from a consignment store. Ha! You think I am actually going to spend $400 on YSL shoes (no joke - that was the original price)? Nope. Consign-mothereffing-ment store. Behold!! My crappy camera phone photo!!!

My new gold YSL ballet flats. NIB, minions! NIB! I also bough 3 other dresses, which I may post about as well, but these shoes were the big find. Big not only because of the low low cost (under $50) but also because of my big, boat-like feet.

Now, can someone please find the shoes tokin asian wants? Please? More than one person on this blog needs to have their shoe-dreams come true.

Fashion Bored: Casual Friday

It's Friday. I am still reeling from Doogs bday festivities. The lady knows how to throw a party and dance to Cher! So my outfit this week reflects my...shall we say lack of effort I am feeling today. Most noted by the shoes:

Because, you know, Lanvin shoes are oh-so-casual. And man oh man would I give my left ovary for that Fendi sweater dress. I mean, clearly that can's happen since selling body parts are illegal...for now? I would practically float into work in that dress and shoes. Marc Jacobs bag. It's great. And full disclosure on the snake bracelet: 1) my photo shop skillz on that be BANGING!! 2) It's from Gilt. Now, yes that site is obnoxious because you have such a limited time to decide on items you can never see but I mean, snake bracelet. And it's jewelry so, do you need to try it on? Though I feel that this outfit cold be missing something. Maybe it's me in it, or maybe it's a brooch...which I think Doog could easily help me out with if I ever acquire these dream outfits. Ummm, you think I could pull an Inception on this stuff???

Must Have!

Dear Interweb.

Please find me these shoes. I need them. Must have them. Will do anything for them. Ivory, blue soled shoes that say "I Do" on the bottom. I'm a 5.5...damn you, tiny feet.

Never Gets Old

I live in Chicago - not exactly the sticks (despite what people in New York or LA would have you believe) and yet I still get all excited when they film movies here. Even if they're horrible crap piles like Public Enemies or future crap piles like Transformers 3.

That being said:

This is in front of the office building that held my very first job in Chicago - the job that allowed me to stay here for the past four years! For me, this is one cheep thrill that never gets old:

 Image via Slashfilm

Additionally, this:

Lightning strikes three of the tallest buildings in Chicago at the same time! from Craig Shimala on Vimeo.

Even when it rains, Chicago - you're my kind of awesome.

Something old, something new...

Vintage weddings are all the rage right now, and I'm obsessed! It's amazing what you can do with people's old junk! Right now, I'm focusing on centerpieces. I've been scouring goodwill stores, flea markets, antique fairs for anything from candles and candle holders and milk glass bottles to all sorts of vintage hardcover books.

These milk glass vases are amazing! Ranging from $1 a piece to $15 a piece - I've been collecting them in all shapes and sizes.


My vision is to stack 2-3 of these milk glass vases (a couple small bud vases and one bigger statement piece) in the center of the table, using vintage books to elevate them. Throw in a big antique silver candelabra and scatter a bunch of votive and tealight candles and we're golden!

I also love the idea of using teacups and tea pots as flower pots - so cheap and adorable!


Oh the ideas are endless! Birdcages, vintage postcards, vintage suitcases, empty picture frames, vintage bikes, old-school cameras, vintage tea tins and coffee cans....my mind is spinning! Have ideas? Pictures? Post them here! With our powers combined....my wedding's going to be killer!

GIF of the Day

Two words to all my friends and family for all of the lovely birthday wishes:

Bubble Pop Electric

Can I just say how much I am digging Robyn's new songs right now? SO MUCH!

Robyn - Hang With Me official video from Robyn on Vimeo.

...because her music sure beats the depressing/angsty country muzak my coworker is playing right now.

And one more in honor of Doogs birthday!!!

Robyn 'Dancing On My Own' (Official Video) from Robyn on Vimeo.

It is Still My Birthday.

And how do I feel?

AWESOME!

It is My Birthday.

I'm 26 on July 26th, so it's my GOLDEN Birthday. Leading up to it, I had as much enthusiasm as Dwight did for Kelly's birthday:

But now that it's here, I'm actually in a great mood about it. I want to invite the whole world over to my house on Thursday to watch Project Runway. Are you free? Do you want to come over?

Anyway, since it's "My Day", I'm going to kick it off with my favorite music video and song of all time!

Cheers to the Weekend!

Alas, Friday is upon us and it could not have come soon enough! In the spirit of celebrating the weekend, I want to share one of my favorite summer beverages, perfect for afternoons lounging by the pool (or if you're psycho like me, on the couch in front of the TV watching Lifetime flicks).

Friend, meet Peach Sangria. Peach Sangria, meet friend. I'm sure you'll get to know each other quite well this summer. [Recipe adapted from The Gourmet Foodie Blog]


Living in Texas, peaches are a summer staple. Side note - Remind me to post my favorite Peach Brownie recipe at a later date (peaches, cinnamon, cakey goodness - best. dessert. ever). We can incorporate them in almost every meal! Pancakes with peach chutney, peach jam, peach cobbler, grilled peaches with vanilla bean ice cream, pork chops with peach salsa...the list is endless and my mouth is salivating. But nothing is more refreshing than a big ole' pitcher of white sangria to ward off the Texas heat. To create this delicious concoction, you'll need the following ingredients:

• 6 peaches skinned and sliced (canned will work if you're feeling lazy)
• Fresh squeezed juice of 3 Lemons
• 2 Sliced lemons
• 2 Cups of chopped strawberries
  
• 1 cup peach schnapps (rum and vodka are great substitutes - a cup of each gives it a kick)
  
• ½ cup fine sugar
• 750ml bottle of Pinot Grigio
  
• 4 cups Club Soda
  
• 1 cup rose champagne (again, no harm in pouring in more! No point in wasting the bottle)

Step 1: Start chopping up your fruit! The recipe calls for sliced peaches, but I prefer cut up chunks as to make it more edible and delicious. Juice 3 Lemons and slice up the other 2 in rounds. I also like to add in a couple cups of chopped up strawberries for heightened flavor.


Step 2: Dump the fruit mixture and juices into a large pitcher or drink dispenser. If you're obsessed with kitchenware like I am, check out Pottery Barn's Acrylic Drink Dispensers. They are the shiz and for your reference, it's on my wedding registry - just sayin. Now for the good stuff. Pour in the wine, club soda, sugar, and liquor - hold off on pouring the champagne! Stir it up and let it sit in your fridge for a few hours- the longer the better! Give the fruit some time to soak in the booze. However, if you're impatient to get your drink on, skip the soaking and move on to Step 3!

Step 3: Right before you're ready to imbibe the fruits of your labor, pour in the champagne - make it rain on them peaches! Stir in some ice, top off the biggest glass you can find, and sip away the week's stress.


Happy Drinking! Err...I mean, weekend.

Re-Mad Men Yourself!

Mad Men is coming back on Sunday and in honor of this most anticipated of premieres, I suggest we all re-Mad Men ourselves! New props and clothes are now available!

Before...

 

 

After!

 

Who's coming over?!

Fashion Bored

Reality check: I have a very limited budget but an incredible lust for clothing. What is a girl to do? Create ideal outfits all day via the amazing gadget that is the interwebs! Instead of composing in my head, I'm going to post my creations here. Though it's unlikely that I will every be able to afford a lot of the clothes listed (or want to spend the amount required to buy the clothes), I see this as an inspirational project. I'll occasionally post outfits or just things that I am lusting over in hopes that I can get the fine people of the internet to lust with me. Sound like a plan?

Today I present: a work outfit! I don't promise perfection, but hopefully there will be some fun.

Great. Let's begin.




Dear DVF dress, where have you been all my life? I love the zipper and would kill to have you in my closet. Look at the color! Wouldn't you look great with this McQueen Faithful tote and Michael Kors watch? The watch is the only thing I could afford if I saved...sigh. And I really really like the Giles & Brother chevron necklace. Just hoping to bring it together. And no, I don't care that I mixed gold with silver for this outfit. In the words of RZ "metallics are neutrals" and I will do whatever I want with them.

Finally the shoes. I would wear that shit out of those. Not just with this outfit but all the time. Black pants? Give me those shoes. Blazer? Give me those shoes. Pencil skirt. Hand over those damn shoes with the ruffles. Just. Give. Them. To. Me. Now. But seriously, I want that DVF dress too. So badly.

The Client List, Starring Jennifer Love Hewitt's Boobs

Hello. My name is Annie and I am a Lifetime movie addict. I have no problem admitting this publically. Yes, it’s true that after hours of watching LMN my fear of being raped, mugged, haunted by ghosts, and cheated on by charming husbands exponentially heightens. But I just can’t resist the allure of subpar acting and drama! It literally takes less than two minutes into a Lifetime movie for me to be hooked. I have to know how it ends – who gets raped? Does her husband leave her? Will the ghost of her aborted child kill her after all? Too many questions to just turn away.

The recent release of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s “The Client List” had me all sorts of excited for weeks! The combination of JLH's poor acting and huge tatas is absolutely worthy of discussion. Let's start with the fact that my movie premiere night was almost ruined by the penis party that ensued in my home Monday evening. It's virtually impossible to convince any straight male to willingly spend two hours watching female dramas. But this was an easy sell. Alls I had to say was "Jennifer Love Hewitt. Prostitute Mom." And just like that, they were sold. Premiere movie night will go on. Spoiler Alert! Here's a recap of the best Lifetime movie ever to exist.

The basic gist of this based-on-a-true-story flick focused on prostitution taking over a middle of no-where, small Texas town. I'm talking about your typical pro-gun, pro-family, anti-abortion, god-fearing Texas town. Enter JLH - loving mother of two (or three? it's hard to remember how many kids she had when the camera man explicitly zoomed in on her boobies every time they had a "family moment"), former beauty pageant winning gal who always dreamed for more. Unfortunately for her, she got knocked up at a young age and married her quarterback high school boyfriend. A friend told her she was smart for having babies early...sigh, if only I had thought to get pregnant at 16...I'd be a rich prostitute by now.

Naturally, it turned out high school football isn't a career. Injured and uneducated, her husband leaves JLH and her brood of children broke and facing foreclosure on their home. She tried pushin the girls up and out of that blouse to woo their banker into a loan extension, but alas it wasn't enough. Perhaps getting a job would help the stay at home mom? Apparently, the ONLY job opening was in the next town over at a massage parlor called Kind Touch Med Spa. This wasn't enough to tip JLH off to what was going on in this establishment. Nor were the keypad locks on every single door. Or the red lights flashing above rooms in use. Or the unlicensed massage therapists lounging around in lingerie in the break room. Oh no...it wasn't until she got a peek into a two-way mirror that our innocent mom realized what they were asking her to do. Fast forward a couple scenes involving her freak out, go through internal moral debates, and dealing with her unemployed drunk ass husband - she accepts the job and becomes the #1 hooker that town has ever seen!

Did I mention she's border line autistic? She apparently has impeccable memory and can remember every detail from every conversation. She brings clients their favorite cookies, wears their favorite outfits, ask about their wives (super turn on when you're paying a hooker for sex, I know), the whole nine yards and the men just eat it up. It's what made her the busiest masseuse at Kind Touch! But as it turns out, prostitution is exhausting. Poor JLH - on top of getting her kids to school time time, cooking dinner, and being the perfect southern wife, she also has to blow/bang my estimate of 8-12 men a day. These guys are flying in from all over the world to tap that. I suppose her husband doesn't smell the sex on her or question why she's adorned in all this new jewelry (gifts from her best clients). All he knows is - his uneducated, sexy wife is raking in the cash.

In fact, for Christmas - she buys him a Harley (how many peens does it take to buy a Harley?) Her gift in return? Mr. Quarterback hands her a box with a name tag in it - he got a job with a pest control company and will be making minimum wage to support his family. It's a start. And props to him for taking what he can get. All you need is love, right? That and an awesome pair of knockers because some how JLH pulls them out of debt and gives her family a taste of the high life. You just can't count on a man these days, unless he's paying you for sex.

Sex, more sex, more hot scenes of JLH running around in lingerie that I can't search for and post from work, and the eventual road to coke addiction. A client gives her a baggie which she offensively declined. He slips it into her purse anyway and says - just in case. At this point in the movie, she's almost driven into a truck because she can't keep her eyes open - I'm telling ya, prostitution is EXHAUSTING. One of her kids needs her to bake a cake for their bake sale the next morning and the poor girl just doesn't have the energy. Suddenly, this baggie of coke is starting to look appealing. 10 hours later, her family awakes to a tweaked out JLH and a masterpiece castle cake complete with moat and working drawbridge.

More sex montages, including her liason with the local church pastor, politicians, her friends' husbands, etc. She's losing weight, looking haggard, getting snappy with her clients who came to her to talk/cry/get off, and dropping the ball on her mom job (and blow jobs, and rim jobs, and all the other jobs she's workin). Lucky for her, the spa gets busted before her life completely falls apart. The wayward cops who took blowies for keeping their noses out are now being told by someone higher up to blow the lid off that joint. All could have ended well, but dammit JLH you left your coke out and now they're going to charge you with prostitution AND drugs. Mr. Quarterback is drinking at a bar when his wife is shown on TV in her negligee in handcuffs and thrown into the back of a cop car. Humiliated in front of the entire town's population of 100, QB husband leaves her with the kids.

Fast forward some more, JLH turns in the names of prestigious towns people as a trade-off for shorter jail time for her and her hooker friends. I can't remember how much time she spent in jail, but it only took about 2 minutes to cover in the movie, so I assume less than a month. She gets out of prison and gets herself a nice low-paying waitressing job at a local diner. QB husband has no intention of coming back - but there's kind of a happy ending (pun absolutely intended). An angry-looking mob of women show up at JLH's door, victims of her sexcapades, wives of her clients. We think she's about to get lynched for being such a whore, but instead, they welcome her with open arms and beg her to share her secrets! How did you get our husbands to love you like that? How do you give a blow job? Is it safe to take it in the butt? A few bananas and live demos later, the movie concludes.

This might be one of the best LMN movies I've ever watched. It was jam packed with sex, betrayal, terrible acting skills, and drama. It didn't end all cheesy with her husband returning with a black diamond ring for her transgressions (I'm lookin at you, Sex and the City 2). It's heightened my curiosity every time I drive by a massage place - is this where you can get a happy ending? It's also taught be a very valuable lesson - prostitution makes damn good money.

It's a Thing Now: Brooches

I don't mean to turn all Zooey Deschanel on you, but I freaking love brooches. Not in an ironic way, it's more an "all of a sudden, I can't wear cheap jewelery because it hurts my skin" way. I can, however, cheap out on pins and as a bonus have ANOTHER PLACE to wear jewelery.


Total no brainer.

Don't buy it? Check out some of these beauties:

Reclaimed Zipper Pin from ZipPinning

Totally fine with a tee shirt!

Vintage Amber Broach from VintagePass

Fluer de Lis Locket via SparklySushi

If this was a watch, it would be JUST like Mary Poppins. Which is a good thing.

Recycled Sterling Silver Brooch via NoaSharonDesigns

A Modern Brooch! It's not just me!

Vintage Wedding Brooch via NYJoleJewlery

In honor of TokinAsian!

Red Rhinestone Vintage Brooch Ebay

 My birthstone is a Ruby and I've always loved red stones.

Movin' on Up!

We're classin' up the joint a bit so we can move right in. Our other blog is jackin' our flava and so we're going for a trail separation.

Take it like a man, and SING WITH ME, GIRLS:





Freddie thinks this shit is bananas:

Impressions: GLEE

Glee is back and everyone is excited and blah.

But the REAL drama of the night?

Kurt's Scarf. I love it. I hate it.

P.S. MORE ARTIE, PLEASE.

Imma Sucker

If there is one thing I am a sucker for it's a rap interlude.

Spring is here, bitches.

F*uck You, Kyle

Love, Doüg and Emily Dickinson

Today in Shut It Down

It's Rangs.

Rangs.

Rangs.

Rangs.

Rangs, bokay?

Are You Even Ready?

This is happening.